Origins Edit

The first Beatles burn was made on Beatles Rock Band day, where Jacob said "How many men does Tom bum on average? Eight Gays a Week."

Tom wasn't even there

Since then he tried to capitalise on this incredible brand of humour, only to have it backfire massively as seen below jacob is gay

List of Beatles Burns Edit

This is a collection of puns made from the titles of Beatles songs that burn the victim, usually implying that they are gay or have incompetence with women. Hopefully there will be eventually be one for every Beatles song ever made.

How many men does Jacob bum on average do you think?

Eight Gays a Week

What's Jacob's favourite kind of erection?

Norwegian Wood

What did the girl of Jacob's dreams do when he made his lusty advances?

Twist and Shout

What did the woman say to Jacob when he asked her for sex?

When I'm Sixty Four

What did Jacob's boyfriend suggest for the next time they are alone in the bedroom?

Come Together

What did the prostitute say to Jacob?

Can't Buy Me Love

What does Jacob like the most?


What's Jacob's favourite sex toy?

Maxwell's Silver Hammer

In which country is Jacob straight?

Back in the USSR

What did Jacob say to every man in the world?

I Wanna Be Your Man

What did Jacob say to his pitcher?

Hey Bulldog

What did Jacob say to the man?

I Want to Hold Your Hand

What did Jacob say to the man in Germany?

Komm Gib Mir Deine Hand

What did the gay man say to Jacob?

You Like Me Too Much

What did the girl say when Jacob tried it on?

Get Back

What is Jacob's boyfriend's profession?

Paperback Writer

What is his other boyfriend's profession?


What did Jacob say to the single man in the gay orgy when he wanted to blow his load?

All Together Now

What does Jacob call it when he masturbates to thoughts of his boyfriend?

Within You Without You

How far does Jacob's homosexuality spread?

Across The Universe

How does Jacob tell people about his homosexuality?

Do You Want to Know a Secret

What does Jacob spend his nights doing?

Fixing a Hole

How does Jacob like to ejaculate?

With a Little Help from My Friends

What does Jacob say to a man he has a one night stand with?

Hello Goodbye

What does Jacob say when Curry offers his mum for sex?

I Want You (She's So Heavy)

What does Jacob say all the time?

I'm a Loser

How does Jacob describe heterosexuality?


What does Jacob get when he calls a girl up?

No Reply

What does Jacob say to men?

Please Please Me

What does Jacob think every time he tries to shift himself away from raging homosexuality?

I Should Have Known Better

What did Jacob say to the man?

Hold Me Tight

What did the girl say to Jacob?

Don't Bother Me

What does Jacob reply when asked to point out who he has sex with?

This Boy

What did Jacob say when the a man was flashing each person he came across?

Don't Pass Me By

Jacob remembers his first homosexual encounter like it was...


What is Jacob's favourite part of giving blowjobs?

The End

What did Jacob's sexuality do when he first saw a naked man?

How many men does Jacob sleep with in a week?
One after 909

Why is Jacob gay?

What did Jacob say when the a man was flashing each person he came across?

Don't Pass Me By

How does Jacob like his penises?

Long, Long, Long

Where is Jacob gay?

Here, There and Everywhere

What does Jacob say to his business partners?

You Never Give Me Your Money

What must a man give Jacob in order to get him to sleep with them?


What does Jacob say when his boyfriend gives him a dildo?

You Know What To Do

Hey Jacob's mum, your son is gay.

Cry Baby Cry

What did Jacob say to his partners when a female turned up at the orgy?

Run For Your Life

Jacob, will you suck this cock?

I Will

What does Jacob like to call his anus?

The Long and Winding Road

What does Jacob like to be called when mounting a young buck?

Her Majesty

What did Jacob say to the Goatse man?

I'm Looking Through You

What would Jacob never say after a gay orgy?

Not a Second Time

What does Jacob like to be called when BEING mounted by a young buck?

Martha My Dear

How did Jacob describe young Jimmy's blowjob technique?

Getting Better

When asked if he wants to be fucked by a man, how does Jacob reply?

Love You To

What does Jacob think a sly name for his boyfriend's magical pant cave is?

Savoy Truffle

What does Jacob think when he spies a bare ass?

I Need You

What does Jacob say to his friends when he goes to have sex with someone?

It Won't Be Long

What does Jacob say to his partner after a night of gaynal sex?

Good Morning Good Morning

What does Jacob say when witnessing hetero porn?

You Can't Do That

Hey Jacob, want some gay sex?

When I Get Home

What did Jacob say when he realised he'd forgotten to bring the gripples to the orgy?

I Don't Want to Spoil the Party

What does Jacob say in a straight strip club


What did Jacob say when his prom date invited him up for some coffee?

I'm Happy Just to Dance With You

What did Jacob say when he was told there was a shortage of men, but lots of women at the orgy?

I'll Cry Instead

Jacob attends another gay orgy! What is this for him?

A Day in the Life

What did Jacob think to himself when observing a the plumber working on his toilet, crack poking out from the back of his trousers?

If I Fell...

What did Jacob say after the orgy?

I'm So Tired

What was Jacob's excuse for turning down sex with Jessica Alba?

She's a Woman

What did Jacob say to his gay partner in the middle of the city?

Why Don't We Do It In the Road?

What does Jacob say when he seens an 18 year old in his gay bar?

Young Blood

What did Jacob say about his exhibitionism?

Everybody's Got Something to Hide Except Me and My Monkey

What did Jacob say during his adventures through time?

Roll Over Beethoven

Jacob, theres no gay men here, but there IS a cardboard cut out of Julian Clary and a tub of butter

We Can Work it Out

How does Jacob reply to the gay mail deliverer's advances?

Please Mr Postman

What wouldn't Jacob's partner's name be?


Jacob what do you do when you masturbate?

I Call Your Name

What does Jacob like of other males?


What does Jacob say when presented with the opportuntiy for gay sex?

I'm Down

When will Jacob have sex with a man?

Any Time At All

Jacob, look! Tits!

Don't Bother Me

What does Jacob do with heterosexuality?

Let It Be

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